It is everyone’s favorite season, which is of course the season of uplifting young girls into entrepreneurship via delicious cookies. I’d be more on board with education if every time a kid learned something I got to have a snack.
I have taken it upon myself to provide the DEFINITIVE ratings of girl scout cookies. Don’t bother to disagree — you’ll just look silly.
The only cookie not included that I can think of is the s’mores cookie, as apparently those are pretty popular and running low. 0/10. You don’t get an A on an assignment you don’t turn in.
- Tagalongs
Taste kind of waxy. The chocolate and the peanut butter don’t blend for me the way I wish they did. They slid out of their little slots in the package, so poor presentation. 3/10.
- Trefoils
Pretty good. I like the simplicity of the crumbly vanilla. It’s just not top tier, and they can get pretty dry. Appreciate the logo on the cookies, good branding. 6/10.
- Lemon-ups
Right away, I like the different inspirational messages on here. The one I ate said “I am an innovator.” I really like these, and I love lemon flavor. However, the texture is not my favorite, and honestly, I want more lemon. 7/10.
- Do-si-dos
I think at this point I’m going to give the impression I don’t like peanut butter, and that’s not true. But this is not hitting the mark for me. It tastes like it should be one of those peanut butter cracker snack things, but less weirdly sweet. This gives nutrition, and I don’t want that in a Girl Scout cookie. 2/10.
- Adventurefuls
I liked it more the more I chewed. It’s a good blend of sweet flavors that mix for a charmingly bite-sized dessert. The texture of the brownie base and the crunch of the caramel on top blend into a fun experience that means I get to use different teeth. 8/10.
- Samoas
This is what I call a cookie. Love the coconut, love the chocolate, love the gently crunchy texture. Wonderful stuff. The Girl Scouts really went off with this one. 9/10.
- Thin mints
The absolute best for last. Thin mints are fire. The strong mint with the smoother chocolate coating and the crunch center? Molto bene. Mamma mia. Bone apple teeth. 35/10.
If these cookies interest you, as they absolutely should, check out Girl Scouts of Colorado and come to your own (likely incorrect) judgments about which ones are the best.