Someone needs to explain to me why I have had finals due every week this month. Is finals week merely a suggestion? A polite query into our academic journeys that’s ignored? 

With finals season sucking all the joy out of this December, I felt I needed to reflect on that via song. Here is my college-student-accurate edition of “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.”

P.S. I tried to make the new lyrics fit into the beat of the original song but ran out of time because I had a final project due at midnight. 

It’s the most stressful time of the year 
With exams compiling 
And everyone telling you “It’s not curved” 
It’s the most stressful time of the year 

It’s the fif-fifth panic attack 
With those papers stacking 
And tear-written emails when grades come to fail 
It’s the six-sixth panic attack today 

There’ll be classes for skipping 
To find time for studying 
And Secret Santas we can’t afford 
There’ll be professor evaluations 
And fear of retaliation 
And Rate My Professor doom scrolls 

It’s the most stressful time of the year 
There’ll be many all-nighters 
And we will be crying when grades are posted soon 
It’s the most stressful time of the year 

There’ll be classes for skipping 
To find time for studying 
And Secret Santas we can’t afford 
There’ll be professor evaluations 
And fear of retaliation 
And Rate My Professor doom scrolls 

It’s the most stressful time of the year 
There’ll be many all-nighters 
And we will be crying when grades are posted soon 
It’s the most stressful time 
It’s the most anxious time 
It’s the most panic-attacking-inducing time 
It’s the most stressful time of the year!

Photo by Kalle Kortelainen on Unsplash.