In response to President Donald Trump being re-elected, young women across the United States have brought South Korea’s 4B movement to the stateside, which means swearing off men as part of a feminist agenda.  

My only advice to those participating: don’t let this movement turn women against women.  

The 4B Movement started in South Korea in 2016, when a woman was murdered in a train station bathroom. The murder galvanized women to act on swelling grievances about gender relations in the country, which are particularly inflammatory as South Korea has one of the largest wage gaps in the world.  

Korean women have also been facing an influx of spy-cam and deepfake pornography that is harming their reputations against their will. Some men have set up secret cameras to record sexual acts without consent. With the rise of AI, some women have had their likenesses transformed into deepfake pornography that can be used as blackmail.  

“4B” stands for four ways women have sworn off men to escape subordination. “Bi” is the Korean word for “no,” hence 4B meaning four “nos.” Women have sworn off dating, sex, marriage and childbirth in relation to men.  

The movement caught on in the United States following Trump’s win in the presidential election. Some American women see Trump’s election as a betrayal of their women’s rights, since Trump and many of his team members are against abortion and some forms of contraception.  

For American women, 4B is telling men that it is unfair to expect sex but vote against rights to reproductive care. The young feminists behind the internet surge in 4B’s popularity believe that any man’s vote for Trump is a vote against their rights. Men then don’t deserve female attention if they refuse to support women’s reproductive freedom.  

While I personally know few women participating in the movement, several of my close female friends share the same feelings of betrayal that the 4B feminists are feeling. This election feels personal to women in a way many men don’t seem to grasp.  

I believe that anyone can voice their election-related negative emotions in whatever way feels necessary, within reason. That could be anything from unfollowing misogynistic followers to swearing off men altogether. I just hope that the surge in 4B among young women doesn’t pit feminists against each other.  

I hope women involved in the 4B movement can respect and find compassion for women who choose not to follow the movement. I have a loving, supportive boyfriend who has more than proven how much he supports women’s rights. I don’t want to feel exiled by other women for choosing to stay with the man I love.  

In a time like this, where many women felt like the earth shattered beneath them, like-minded women need to feel united. Unity is key to overcoming the fear and hurt women are feeling right now.  

To women who are joining 4B, more power to you. Do what you need to do to stand up for what you believe in, just don’t tear down other women for not joining the movement with you.  

Activism and resistance come in many forms. One woman’s resistance may be quietly funding Planned Parenthood, while another woman may announce her decision to swear off romantic involvement with men.  

For feminism to work, we have to respect each other’s activism. Women are stronger together, no matter how we express our commitment to equality. 

South Korean women protest in 2018. Photo courtesy of USA Today.