It is time to say goodbye to our 2025 grads. What better way to send them into the great unknown than with a farewell chocolate cake tailored to their many dietary needs? Maybe cash would work too, but I haven’t seen that in years (thanks, UCCS). 

I am following a recipe from Laura Fuentes for a gluten-free, egg-free chocolate cake. This recipe feeds 12 people. 

I purchased all of my ingredients at Walmart except for the gluten-free chocolate chips, which I acquired at Safeway. My grand total for ingredients came out to roughly $45. Because this cake requires alternative ingredients, the total cost is higher than average. Where possible, I used the generic brand versions of the ingredients. 

Ingredients: 

• 3 cups gluten-free all-purpose flour ($5.12) (for Kaylie, the best Features Editor in the world.) 

• 1 ¾ cups granulated sugar ($1.72) 

• 6 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder ($5.92) 

• 2 teaspoons baking soda ($0.87) 

• 2 teaspoons xanthan gum ($6.62) (for Abby, the egg-sensitive satirist.) 

• 1 teaspoon salt ($0.76) 

• 2 cups non-dairy chocolate milk ($2.42) (I prefer almond milk, but you can substitute this to your preference.) 

• ½ cup vegetable oil ($2.97) 

• 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar ($4.48) 

• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract ($3.94) 

• Betty Crocker gluten-free chocolate frosting ($1.96) (the recipe calls for homemade, but I think that’s outrageous, regardless of how much I love these grads. Store-bought will do.) 

• I opted for a bag of gluten-free, egg-free, nut-free, everything-free chocolate chips from Enjoy Life to garnish the cake with, but this addition is optional. ($6.99) 

Directions: 

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Combine your dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl and set aside. In a separate bowl, combine your wet ingredients. 

Add your wet mixture into the dry mixture and stir until combined. 

Grease a 9-inch by 13-inch cake pan and pour your mixture in. Bake for 25-30 minutes. My plan was to go for 30 minutes to account for the altitude, but someone got distracted by her phone and let it go for 5 minutes too long. Don’t do that. 

Let the cake cool completely before frosting, about 30 minutes. After frosting, I topped the cake with chocolate chips. Voila! Only slightly burnt. 

Results: 

For not containing eggs or gluten, this cake is incredibly moist and decadent. The frosting is a must, and the chocolate chips really elevate the final product. 

This cake was a crowd-pleaser. My test subjects all remarked that it was undetectable as a gluten-free, egg-free alternative. Laura Austin-Eurich, The Scribe Faculty Advisor, said, “This cake is so good, it’s almost OK that all of the seniors are leaving us.” 

In the spirit of tearful goodbyes, this recipe will be the final installment of Culinary Chaos. Like our grads, it is time to transition into new stages and experiences. We have mastered the chaos of cooking here at The Scribe, but all is not lost. Stick around for our new culinary column, “Cooking for College Kids,” coming this fall. 

Photo via The Scribe archives.