This week, Kaylie and I decided we wanted to switch columns with each other. I get to live in music land, and Kaylie gets to write an Academic Review.
I have a music performance minor, so I’m a good singer and a passable piano player. I don’t … not know what I’m doing. There is not, however, a lot of overlap between Kaylie’s and my music taste. If you take a look at our Spotify playlists, you may notice lots of topical, energetic, culturally relevant music on Kaylie’s playlist and lots of random songs no one has listened to in a thousand years on mine.
Since this column focuses on the modern music industry, I figured I’d try my hand at something topical. Let’s talk some more about Kendrick and Drake — because Kaylie obviously hasn’t done enough of that already. I’m starting to get a real sense that something bad might be going on here.
For instance, both of them keep releasing music, which is good, but I keep hearing these weird rumors that the music itself is causing the problem.
I heard something on the radio recently by one of them, and it said something about “A minor,” which is actually one of my favorite keys to play in! I love when singers work their theory training into the lyrics. But somehow that song was actually about Drake?
Another area where Kaylie and I differ is conflict resolution. I want everyone to get along and talk it through, whereas Kaylie lives for beef.
Since this is my column for now, I want to propose some conflict resolution strategies that Drake and Kendrick can use to fix whatever makes it difficult for them to keep hanging out.
- Communicate
Communication is how you fix problems. It’s basic, but we all need a reminder from time to time. If there’s a problem, you have to tell the other person, and passive-aggressive rap doesn’t count.
Instead of producing award-winning music about how the other person hurt your feelings, maybe tell them to their face. As we all know, it’s hard to read tone over text, email or Superbowl performances featuring the other person’s ex. The meaning might be misinterpreted.
- Counseling
It might be time to bring in a professional. Not everyone can sort out problems like this on their own, and there’s no shame in seeking support.
Maybe they could set up a meeting with whoever talked it out between Katy and Taylor, or Harry and Taylor, or Joe and Taylor, or Nicki and Taylor. Taylor’s still going strong, so it stands to reason that she probably gets some solid support. You can’t do the “Eras Tour” without having a therapist locked and loaded.
- Active listening
Both of these people are musicians — their whole career is active listening, so this should come naturally. Maybe when they have their communication sessions, they can have a talking stick or a mic they pass back and forth, since that’s more familiar.
A great way to articulate your feelings is by using a template like this: I feel [blank] when you [blank] because [blank], and I need you to [blank]. I used this loads of times in elementary school and the success rate was super high. Like at least 50%.
Example: I feel sad when you accuse me of pedophilia and when you turn the entire Superbowl into a concert dissing me because it’s going to ruin my career completely and make me face the consequences of my actions, and I need you to stop making mega-hits that bop so hard nobody can literally ever listen to my music again.
See? Feeling better already.
- Collaboration
One of the best ways to create a sense of unity is to have a common goal. Perhaps it’s time for these two music industry powerhouses to set aside their differences and work on something together.
Maybe they can collectively decide they hate Future and write a new track to flatten him into the ground. I have no problem with that; I’m more of a past guy. And I cannot name a single Future song, so he must not be making that big of an impact.
- Quality time
After patching up a problem like this, it’s a good idea to spend some time with that person and remember why you like being around them so much. When they’re done taking the space that they need, I think Kendrick and Drake should go on a road trip.
They could go camping in Yellowstone or snorkeling in Florida. They could go to Disney (although now that I think about it, Disney might not be the best choice for Drake). They could even come here and check out campus, which could be good anyway since I’ve heard rumors that Drake might be attending soon. They have options.
All that said, it’s up to these two grown adults to figure out which strategies will work best for them. Here’s hoping that in 2025, Kendrick and Drake will rebuild their friendship and reach a point where they can work together to make cool music for everyone to enjoy. After some empathy and understanding, it’s time to turn “Not Like Us” into “I’m just like you, you’re just like me!”
Check out Kaylie’s academic review here. It should be fun, since she’s reviewing something I wouldn’t go anywhere near.
Editor’s Note: Scribble is the satirical section of the Scribe.
Graphic by Olivia Davis.